In The Blink of an Eye

In the blink of an eye, the world changed today. As I updated yesterday, Roy went in for surgery this morning to have an external stint placed in his liver to relieve his body of some of the toxins that have been building up in him as a result of the cancer invading his liver. His feet have swelled, his skin changed colors, and he has had an all-over sick feeling for the past few days. Once prepped and ready for the surgery, plans changed once his blood levels came back with poor potassium levels. The surgery was then postponed for 4 hours in an attempt to raise his levels with external help. After 4 hours, the levels were checked again, but to no avail. In a last ditch effort, Dr. Levine was called in to attempt an internal stint at a near emergency state at 4:00. Less than 30 minutes later, Dr. Levine informed everyone that after 2 attempts, failure was the outcome.

So, what does that mean? Several things. First, Roy's body is being attacked by his own toxins that the liver is incapable of processing and expelling. As a result, the Bilirubin count is excessive, which then causes other levels to rise, which disallows Chemotherapy treatment. Bottom line: no treatment is now available, and what was a possible 3 month to 6 month life span has been cut down to days to weeks.

Life changes in the blink of an eye. Jack and I have said that same phrase so many times while passing an ambulance, watching a Life Flight helicopter, and so many other times. It's just never been us... it's never been our family... it's never hurt this stinking much!! Just minutes ago, I drove home in the rain, absolutely bawling and questioning God. Not 3 minutes after I began my pity party, I was reminded of the very song I posted this past week: "And as the thunder rolls, I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, I'M WITH YOU!" That's right, I'M WITH YOU!!! He has not deserted, He has not walked away. So, like the song says, "I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. ...and every tear I cry, YOU HOLD IN YOUR HAND!" I haven't forgotten, I just needed to be reminded.

I took the sweetest picture today. I started to post it, but worried it was "too personal" right now. While talking final matters at the kitchen table and helping Shi by making phone calls, Jack went to check on his Dad and found Colby curled up beside him in bed, "doing his job". I will post that picture sometime, but until then, just know amidst the sorrow, we are blessed. Blessed with family, blessed with love, blessed with the Peace that passes all understanding.

I know I called many of you tonight from Big Roy and Shi's house. If I didn't, it was because our heads were clouded, and it was unintentional. Please do not hesitate to call me at home, and I will update you as Sheila is too overwhelmed to speak. Love you all. 352-483-4306.